enough to let you think

it's been a while since i've been here.

last night i was reading the first chapter of ephesians
with a bunch of friends of mine
and we got onto the the topic of predestination
(like i always do nowadays).

so we decided to give each other an opportunity to share our personal insight
on this whole deal
and we predetermined (hehe, get my play with that?)
that no matter what our different thoughts might end up being,
that we would
still love each other
abstain from harming others
understand that we will never figure this out fully
understand that we still worship the same God here.

i shared on how i do believe in predestination (which is another blog entry entirely)
and then some others shared on how they believed in free will.
while they were sharing their thoughts,
i was thinking to myself
on why i was so convicted to believe in what i believe in now
and why and how i got past that whole
"if God chooses some, then God doesn't choose others, how's that fair" deal.
and then i started thinking
"no, you can't believe this whole free will thing! it opens yourself up to selfishness."
thank God i didn't actually say anything, otherwise i would've got grilled for it,
and it all would've turned into an explosion of back and forth.

but really, after all that thinking
i kept thinking to myself
"wow, i have this deep desire to want people to believe in what i believe in"
and i guess this is where my stubbornness comes from.
now don't take this is as being prideful, it really isn't.
like i said, i didn't want people to think about
"free will is the way to salvation"
because it opens up to selfishness that much more easily.
and obviously, i don't want my brothers and sisters
to be subject to that.

i was talking to a pastor who comes to these different conclusions about
creationism vs. evolution
predestination vs. free will
kinda stuff
and all of his conclusions were drawn very rationally
and were drawn from the original text of the bible.
so i asked him
"every time you enter a discussion with someone who believes the opposite of you
do you ever think that they are irrational or illogical?"

and he answered me with
"that's where the humility comes in."

i guess no matter how much i want people to understand things the way that i do,
it ultimately breaks down to how the Spirit convicts them.

i guess, the ultimate point is
you can believe all these different things in theology
or you might want others to see things your way, because you are so sure you are right
but you will never be able to stir someone's heart
if you never love them enough to let them think for themselves.

-simon