reveal your love

today was a composition of ups and downs, high notes and low notes.

at school we had an all day, out-of-class leadership workshop. who would've known that the most irrelevant yet eye-opening things would've happened.

let me first admit that the workshop was rather... redundant. au contraire to learning on how to be a leader, we just learned how to cheat in capture the flags, and that the colour orange is all of associated with lap dancing. how beneficial.

the most burdening thing however was feeling rather torn down from being the co-pres of music council, where for some reason it felt like things were falling apart. on top of that, being a leader of a school fellowship that for some reason didn't know the true idea of communication between people to solve problems. sometimes when i talk to them, i wish that they would listen to the fact that as opposed to one person being at fault, everyone was. including myself, which to me, is rather ironic.

being a leader, i couldn't even communicate the truth with love...

"love is... slow to anger..." 1 corinthians 13

now that was hypocrisy. which lead to stress and frustration that was not needed or necessary to get any point across. on top of that, i was compared to something that i never in my life would want to be compared to, because i'm doing everything i can to not be like that.

this is what happens to a teenage boy who can't for some reason is irrational. this left me hanging on my own thread, being pushed down by every heart-breaking burden. my heart isn't perfect, neither is the fellowship i lead.

and then came the friday night.

fellowship time. i was leading worship, and i prayed that i would be able to just dump those burdens aside and lead worship without being worried about what might and might not happen, with a pure heart and mindset. instead i lead a worship set that i myself couldn't worship with.

but then came discussion time. people were sharing so much all of a sudden, and it was topped off with the two hosts of the program to share about their personal stories. people were touched by it, and i know that with all my heart. thank God for them.

see when we open ourselves to difference instead of clouding our vision with indifference, that is when we begin to see unity. when we begin to be vulnerable to the people around us, that is when we begin to see God's wonderful grace in it's purest essence.

should you, the reader, be reading this, i dare you. i challenge you. i want to see you give up like you've never given up before. think so low of yourself like you have nothing left to lose.

i don't mean giving up as in to give in to your problems. i mean to give up your pride, give up your prejudice, give up your judging mindset. think low of yourself, below others. find yourself caught up in humility because that's where you will find peace.

to those with the same burdens of witnessing catastrophic breakdowns of unity, i challenge you to do what the title of this blog is.