excuse

for some reason, today, that word really scared me.

i had the interesting experience of sitting in a car with a friend who was arguing with his dad in chinese. obviously me being the one who can't seem to communicate in any other foreign language other than english, sat there not knowing what exactly they were talking about it.

through the bit of the chinese rambling i heard this one word pop up. one english word in an entirely chinese conversation, pretty random if you asked me. but the moment i heard that word it seemed like i was brought into this world of thinking what happens when the word "excuse" is put to use.

the first thing i thought of is when my parents use it on me, and when i use it on them when we're caught in the midst of arguments. i remembered all the times they would say that my reasoning only lead to "them", and how much it annoyed me when they said that.

and then i linked it to how many times we make "them" up in front of God...

well... end of story there.

i guess now after realizing that today, i've sorta re-entered that state of mind of trying to be brutally honest before God in my prayer and time with Him, even as i write this blog. all these blogs are my time with God because they are my reflections to God's character.

so my prayer to Him today is to try and not make excuses to Him. should i ever catch my self doing so, then i will remember the times we use it on ourselves.