"Slowly Waking with a Breathing Heart"

So today I was asked what my Facebook personal message meant when I said, "Simon is slowly waking with a breathing heart." 

At first thought, I actually didn't know myself. I just thought it sounded cool, and that in some way, it's probably relevant. So I actually thought about what it actually could mean, and this is what I've concluded.

A breathing heart... sounds impossible, right? A breathing organ that has the main objective of pumping blood. But obviously, being the metaphorical person that I apparently am, I never meant it to be like that.

But I was reminded how so many of us, including me sometimes, are living with no real purpose, or maybe no real yearning for wanting to find that purpose in us. Maybe with apathetic thinking, monotonous hearts. Hearts. This is where it all begins.

After all, the bible DID say "where your treasure is, your heart is there" or something like that. Where we strive to be, what we yearn to have, that's our purpose. That's where our heart is. 

I've began, or re-discovered, that life isn't just about me. What I want sometimes isn't REALLY what I want. But should my first priority be simply God, then that's where my heart is. And God, being guy He is, even if my heart were to reach Him, I'm not done yet. I know I've got so much more ahead of me than just that. So it's not a one time thing. 

When we're in that state of just not knowing where to go, or not wanting to know where to go, that's when, even though we're alive, we're not. Our hearts are beating, but they're not breathing. We're not figuring out the bigger picture. Why? I don't know. Society brain washing? The fear of not making it, maybe even desperation in the wrong places.

"There's more to living than being alive." - Anberlin

It seems like everything can be answered with an Anberlin quote. Hahaha.

I long for the things that can make a better person for the people around me, and for God. I long for the right calling, I long for purpose, heck, I long for the right people to be around with. Friends, eventual girlfriend, etc. It's like, I'm in love before I'm even aware that I am in love with someone. Yeah, it's really confusing.

But thank God, huh? Just for everything, emotion, purpose, all these non-tangible things that are mostly overlooked. Amazing it can be.

And I'm trying to come up with an ending phrase to put at the end of all these posts.... so let's try this.

"So we coughed it for a thousand times.

Let's sing it for a thousand more."