Mirrors of Thanksgiving Weekend (Wow)

I wish this note was that simple, just wow. I guess it can if i just type in the words, but in it's entirety, this whole weekend was just a jump in the chest with young hearts. Hearts with all the same motives and objectives.

If anything, I definitely learned to keep my patience. Patience... something that many of us are at a great lack of. And I've experienced first-hand how a lack of patience can completely destroy everything about you.

I don't wanna get into too much detail, because it only ever makes sense when I really explain it, not when a note that I wrote does.

Kicked off the long weekend with a worship practise with KNA. We played a few songs, and all of a sudden, things just started to get ridiculously out of hand. Everything was falling apart, people (more specifically me) started to argue with others, just everything was going wrong.

We stopped and prayed, and then someone started to play music, and it was just our own time to sit still and check ourselves. I don't know why, but we all just started to lose ourself. I guess that's what happens when everyone tries to find something bigger within themselves.

Tears fell like Tetris blocks, hands flew up like birds, and we all just seemed to surrender ourselves to one God. One kind of love. It was there I realized that something was wrong in me. Though I wasn't fully sure what it was yet.

TC Worship/Media Retreat. Wow. I'm so glad and honoured to have met so many amazing, yet still so different people. Anyone from random loud people, to international DOTA players (LAN PARTY!)

But even then with the people, God was there. And he stirred our hearts up, like how Mother Nature stirs up a storm on the oceans. Tears again fell, hands up high, and this time, I found it. Not my strength, not my treasure, but my weakness. Impatience. I don't know why, and of course it sounds so minimal and pointless. But I found out that it was just completely changing every small aspect of me. And I hated it. Every last bit of it.

It was a tug between me and God. God won. And it was there I decided to simply go back to the basic part of it, and simply give my life another try, this time without the impatience and other flaws. I know I won't fully win, but I'm sure as heck gonna try.

So what's up now? I don't know really. The ceiling? The skies? My God, what a world you love so much.

Through all of this, I've come to realize, the heart inside of me, the heart that pumps all the blood for me, the heart that keeps me physically alive, can't live without the one thing that keeps the heart itself a live. A hope. The hope.

"My heart is fixed; O God
My heart is fixed.
I will sing and give praise" - Psalm 57:7

My heart is now fixed. Broken, now mended.